Lately, I’ve been noticing my need to constantly be filling my time with something. I rarely just do nothing and have a vast amount of guilt for “doing nothing”. Every moment has to be spent doing something productive. I feel that if I’m not actively working on my goals then I start to feel like a failure and like I’m not doing anything or going anywhere in my life.
This manifests in different ways. Besides planning and plotting all day long, I even find ways for more “relaxing” or “joyful” pastimes to turn into personal growth i.e. listening to podcasts while at the gym hoping to get some new insights on self-help/self-growth and building a business or reading books hoping they will inspire me to create my own work. I’m constantly trying to create, to do, to make, to grow, to improve, to achieve.
I even spend my relaxation time with my boyfriend so to feel that I’m still working on something: my relationship. I freak out when I have “nothing” to do because then I suddenly feel like a failure in life.
Last night, I took a much needed me day (without my bf) which is too rare these days but something I know I need to prioritize more.
At first, I noticed panicked feelings of “what am I going to do? I can’t just relax on my own” so I started calling friends and doing something to distract myself from being alone.
I did a Meet Your Mermaid Guide meditation from the Rockstar Priestess and not only met my mermaid, but understood a deep lesson about doing nothing and life in general.
Here’s what the mermaids taught me.
Life is about pleasure and JOY.
I’m thinking maybe my life purpose is to just enjoy life. How radical and simple is that?
Can we really just be here to ENJOY?
We try to make life so hard and believe that we have to struggle in order to succeed or achieve anything in life.
This belief is so engrained in our society & human minds that I feel so much resistance to the idea of just enjoying things to enjoy them, with no ulterior motive behind it.
My mind is racing with thoughts like “what’s the point” or “but then how will you achieve anything in life” or “what will you get out of that”
While acknowledging these thoughts, I know the truth behind the mind anxiety and that is: living a life full of joy doesn’t mean that you’ll never ahieve a darn thing.
It means that when you’re operating from this place of life is meant to be joyful and pleasurable, than you’re automatically aligning yourself with things you LOVE to do which means your soul came here on earth to do them.
So, yes, working may never feel like working again. What some might call “working” may actually be the most joyful thing you can think of.
Mermaids swim and sing and suntan on the shore simply to enjoy the pleasures of life. Do more of that. Letting go of the need to work your way up the ladder, or go out there and FIND your purpose. Instead, let your purpose come to you out of the sheer fact of allowing yourself to release control and simply ENJOY and feel pleasure.
Seriously, what an amazing gift.
Allow your joy to lead you.
I also thought about the fact that mermaids are all about collecting treasure. Beautiful things that make them happy to look at.
Something I do on occasion is search the beach for seashells and rocks. Collecting treasure.
No other reason, besides the fact it makes me happy to look at cool rocks/shells and see how beautiful the earth is.
How amazing is it that there are so many different patterns and colors?
I’m letting go of the need for the purpose of collecting treasure. They don’t need to be gifts for other people. They don’t need to be collected so I can make something out of them and then sell (where my brain goes: always trying to find a purpose for everything)
What if the purpose was just to enjoy them? To simply appreciate their beauty?
That’s what my mermaids are trying to share with me right now. To get me to stop seeking and instead start enjoying. Give myself pleasurable experiences because why not? That’s what life is about. To freaking enjoy it.
So figure out what your treasure is. And collect it.
Or don’t. Do whatever makes you feel joy and pleasure. I promise you, you’re worth it.