musings on feelings//mini loving lately list

Hi my loves.

Feeling the call to do a little musing/life update.

It’s a really weird feeling when your life is about to drastically change and since you have no idea of what the unknown will look like you keep going, business as usual, and find it super hard to imagine that in just one weeks time, your life will look radically different.

I leave for India in a week and I’m just like, wait what? In one week’s time I won’t be sleeping in my same bed, or coming home to my boyfriend, or waking up to work at the office? Life just feels so normal right now that it’s really hard to believe I’m about to uproot it.

I’ve been thinking lately about emotions. How they come and go. How one necessarily isn’t worse than another. 

I’m always in deep gratitude for my life and the situation I’m in and I rarely take it for granted.

I remember feeling really grateful that I don’t have that gnawing feeling of loneliness or homesickness or dreading the tasks ahead when I get up and go to work for the day.

I generally feel safe, comfortable, knowing what to expect, and rarely have the feeling of “I’d rather stay in bed than go to work”.

I remember in high school waking up at 5:30 am to catch the bus in time for school and always waking up with that dreadful feeling of “nothing is worth this” and feeling like I want to die rather than go to school, and then after waking up, the feeling would pass, but I always hated when I started my mornings that way.

I feel lucky that I never start my mornings this way now ever since leaving school, even though I actually loved school, it was just how I would wake up when I was overly exhausted, stressed out, and had way too many things on my plate.

Does anyone know what I’m talking about?

Even though I don’t have the feelings of heart ache and loneliness, I have other emotions that come and go from work and my life situation.

Boredom, annoyance, anger, meaningless activity, auto-pilot, shouting obscene thoughts at my co-workers in my head when do they something as simple as asking for a pen…

I had been feeling an immense amount of guilt for choosing my own path and choosing to give up something seemingly wonderful and comfortable for the unknown, especially when I am aware of how lucky I am in my current situation…but, just because I don’t feel loneliness often or fear, doesn’t mean that there are other emotions that I don’t necessarily want to be feeling…

Everything has it’s pros and cons. Emotions come and go. Chapters begin and then end.

I’m learning the balance between being grateful for what I have and also feeling like it’s okay to want more. It’s okay to say no to good things to allow myself to say yes for great things.

MINI LOVING LATELY LIST

Reading:

I’ve been able to read a lot in September.

I’ll have to do a mini book review/wrap up for the end of the month.

I read this book most recently and soaked up every word. It made me feel all the feels.

Listening

I went to see Six the musical over the weekend in Boston and loooved the #queen power and pop/rock songs.

The whole playlist is firrrre. Listen here.

What I’m Working On

I recently released a new freebie called “5 Practices to Tap into the Creative Flow” that shares my personal stories of what has helped me throughout my creative process! Check out my NEW AND UPDATED website to download it 🙂

www.the-modernmermaid.com

Travel Items & Essentials

I’m loving how easy it is to pack in this backpack.

This is the only thing I’m taking during my 2.5 months abroad so I need something that was easy to carry and could fit quite a bit of things in it!

I also bought this yoga mat for my teacher training course, which I’m loving because of the non-slip quality. It smelled badly of rubber at first, but slowly the smell is coming out.

Comment below if any of this has resonated and let me know if you download the guide “5 Practices to Tap into the Creative Flow”

Love always,

Leya

 

 

 

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