aaah where do I even begin.
I last left you at the airport in Kiev, Ukraine as I was about to make my last leg to India.
I was feeling a mixture of anxiety, homesickness, “what am I getting myself into” and wanting to turn around and go back home to anything familiar and comfortable.
The flight to New Delhi was overnight and I tried to sleep, but it was freezing and my heart was constricted in pain. Heart ache pain. I was feeling the wave of homesickness and was craving human connection. I cried for my boyfriend. I kept telling myself that these were growing pains and that it would get better, so I let myself cry in silence, wanting to put my shoulder on my seat mates head just for any sort of feeling of “you’re not alone”.
Finally, after a 7 hour flight and restless sleep, we arrived in New Delhi.
I immediately felt like I was on a movie set. The airport was the most luxurious airport I’ve ever been to. Getting through security and customs took about 10 minutes when I thought it would have taken an hour. The security agents were joking and laughing with each other and us, and I thought…okay, maybe this won’t be so bad.
I had about 2 hours before my next flight to Dehradun, to be closer to the yoga school and was worried about making it on time, but everything happened so easily.
I had to take a shuttle to the domestic terminal and passed cows and women in saris and palm trees and kids playing in fake grass. I felt like I was in Indian disneyland, and I was surprised to not encounter the “scary delhi” that everyone talks about. The beggars, the thieves, the diseases, all the fears that played in my mind (again, this was just the airport).
I got to the next terminal and had just enough time to check my bag, go through security, and go to the bathroom before boarding my next flight.
The airplane was this tiniest plane I’ve ever been on, with two propellers on the side.
Since landing in India, I felt calmer, the heartache was gone, the scariest part of “landing” was over.
When our plane took off, we could see the thick layer of black smog that hung over Delhi and I was struck with such a sadness that we have been treating Earth in this way.
I suddenly saw clearly how Earth is our home, but we are just borrowing her land. She provides us with so much and we have been using and abusing her for too long.
It’s interesting to see how all of us, as a global community, need to come together in order to save her. We all have a part to play and we all have a responsibility. This made me feel really guilty for not getting on the “bring your own straw” game…
Anyways, the tiny plane we were on did NOT feel safe, and we kept bumping in turbulence and the little propellers that kept us going felt like they could fail any moment, but I felt calm. I realized something so important on this flight.
I realized, that there is no need to fear.
When we can place so much trust and surrender to the universe, or your higher power, or whatever it is, when we have that much FAITH, there is no need to feel fearful and get into the mental spiral of “ah what if I die” and bla bla bla.
Because, I truly believe that whatever is supposed to happen, will happen. So, if I was meant to die on that plane, then so be it. But, I was pretty sure I was not led to India to die on a tiny little plane, and so I knew I could relax and instead enjoy the sensations of the little butterflies in my stomach as we bumped along, 30,000 feet in the air.
Surrender, and trust and then HAVE FUN. Because life is meant to be enjoyed. The universe will take care of everything, your only job is to enjoy the ride.
The rest of the journey was a breeze. We got to the tiny airport in Dehradun, I grabbed my bag, and went outside to see a taxi driver holding the sign “WELCOME LEYA” which has always been my dream by the way and this is the first time it has happened, and we hopped into his car, and drove the 45 minutes to Rishikesh.
We drove through jungles and mountains and I saw monkeys and cows on the road and people driving on top of each other and selling food on the side of the road and I was so exhausted from my 35 hour journey and smelly from wearing the same clothes and I was just feeling like I was in a movie and couldn’t believe any of it was real.
I could feel we were getting closer to the school when we kept passing ashram after ashram, signs for “yoga teacher training” everywhere, white people walking on the side of the road amongst the locals and cows and stray dogs and monkeys, and finally on a dusty little side street, the taxi driver pulled up to to the side of the road, next to a construction site and on the other side of it, stood the yoga school.
I was so tired, I didn’t even care where I was, I was just so excited to be able to sleep in a bed.
I got checked in quickly and was brought up to my room with marble floors, two twin sized beds with nothing on it but a sheet, and a bathroom with a western toilet and shower.
My roommate happened to be checking in at the same time, who is from Crete and so we had a few moments of chit chat before I slept, resting from the intense journey.
and that is where I’ll leave you, more to come, as I feel I have lived months in only the past 5 days…so crazy!
Much love always,